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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

F I R S T Y E A R

I would like to tell my first year of being a mom,

Jonathan Austin, its my son's name
He was born on Sunday, 26th of July 2015 at 3pm
It was the last day of Idul Fitri Holiday season

Little bit about the labor process,
I was having 2 nights of contraction
First night I almost didn't sleep
I cant sleep actually, as the pain is killing me
It keeps getting more frequent hour by hour, until the morning I almost couldn't resist anymore so we go to the hospital to do the check up,
but by the time I sit on the check up room, the contraction is like suddenly stop
and I didn't feel any pain anymore (maybe the baby is afraid of the nurse ) ^^
so the nurse sent me back home, and ask to come back on the evening
After that the pain didn't come back at all for the whole afternoon 
until, 
it came back again at night T.T
so here we go again, the pain started again
and this time its getting more and more and much pain than the night before
I really couldnt sleep at all, as I feel more pain if I lay back
I even vomit as I couldn't resist it, even I struggle to stand up by myself
It took me awhile to get clean up before we went to the hospital in the morning
Seriously, its really really hurt, from the back to the front 
So, I finally reach the hospital around 10 and my parents already there, and straight to the check up room
Happy news is, its already on opening number 3 or 5
but the pain kept still, I couldnt help it so I ask the nurse to ask the doctor if I could do ILA ( bius )
so short story they inject me on my lower back, after that I didnt feel nothing at all
which was really soothing
they ask me to get some rest and have some food, while waiting for the full opening
I have around 2 hours rest , then around 2ish the doctor came and not long after that it all set out

Here come the baby,

I held him real close, I felt indescribably happy and amuse
They cleaned up the baby
and not long after that I feel a little bit high and dizzy
So that's the side effect of the ILA that kept me high till the next morning
I struggle to stand or even sit the next morning
The nurse gave the baby to me during the night, so my baby could try to milk
Short story, my breast milk didn't come out for about 3 days, so my baby didn't drink anything for that long
He even got to sleep back in the hospital on his day 6, as he got yellow
which really broke me to see him have to be light with the blue-ray

So that's the sum up of my first labor story

I take care of my baby by myself, with Mom's help
but without nanny
I almost didn't sleep for the whole first month
I have to milk my baby every 2 hours, and pumping for my Mom's night shift
It's really tiring, and my body feels really fragile and pain all over

but it keeps getting better by month,
as my body started to recover too

until Jo is 6 months old, he started his first solid food
I get a nanny to help me, as I couldn't manage to cook him and take care of him at the same time
He couldn't stay still, he start to roll over on the bed
He is quiet active and He is a chubby boy
He loves to eat during his first month of trying solid food

now, 
I have to keep changing his menu so he won't get bored
sometimes it's hard to feed him
once, he doesn't want to eat anything for the day,
only fruit or snack

His favorite fruit is papaya and banana
from the first till now,
and He loves eating anything crunchy, like his biscuit
He can stay still if He's having his biscuit by his own
If I'm driving by myself especially,
I should have the biscuit with me to keep him stay still on the car seat.
He doesn't really like to be in a car seat though,
but He is a good boy if He know Mommy is driving alone (no nanny or other)

He is getting skinnier now than when He was little,
but I think He is getting taller lately,
during his 12 months He is growing fast.

Time does fly, 
He is one years old now, 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

It has its limit

Its starting to miss its point
We didn't start with this purpose
I suppose to learn not forced to, till what happen now

I have my freedom as an individual

Let me pick what I want for my future
We have our future
but let me decide what I want for my future
I don't need your dreams of success 
I have my own dreams too that you never respect!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

?

This wheel of life turn so fast on me
when I come to the top
I just feel I'm the happiest person on earth
but it come to fast for me to back in the bottom
I feel devastated
I try to be strong
but I don't know how strong I could be
I need lots of faith

All I need just care and respect
I know you do,
but you seldom show it
So,
Is that how you love someone?

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Welcoming New Year

wow wow wow..
I just pass the last day of year 2011...
Wow..
Time does fly..
Its change now onto 2012 ..!!
you should change your habit of writings number 2011 to 2012 now. haha
Sunday, 1 January 2012

This time I spent my New Year's Eve in my hometown
with my family and my beloved one :)
I felt so lucky and happy!
We didn't do anything much
just enjoying time together, then
during the countdown,
me and him drove the Vespa around the estate
enjoying people light up the fireworks..
It was great
Great time
thou I didn't have one this year
but I really enjoying seeing many fireworks surround
afterall,
It was another fantastic night to end 2011

Anyhow tomorrow when I wake up
its 2012..
means a new year
Should have new spirit to start a new year.
I'm really looking forward for 2012..
2011 been a great year,
many things happen, especially me that has been graduated from uni
and also things with my relationship
Big big changed happen

So yeaaa
There are going to be a lot more bigger things
that we expect to happen in 2012
and I'm really looking forward to take another big step in my life

2012 going to be a really revolutionary period in my life
hopefully
;)

So I want to thanks God for all the blessed during 2011
and I surrender all things in my life to Him,
for everything that should happen in 2012

and also all problems between me and him
could be sort out with the best result as soon as possible
that'd be awesome!

Thanks for drive me around Maru!


Love always,

A.
"Let's rock 2012" !!!!!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Best Time of the Year

Quiet an opposite situation from my last post (sorry)
This one involve indescribably feeling :D


first of all I would like to say


Merry Christmas to all people in the world!


I just had one of the best Christmas Eve ever...
I can't stop smiling..
I feel so happy and yes until now.. 


Well it started with a pretty good afternoon
then we all get ready earlier for Christmas Mass
Unfortunately we're just not early enough
so we get on the second row, outside the church 
well at least we still get a little bit or aircon from inside haha
anyway, since my parents have to become a 'tatib'
I had to sit with his family, which is great
FYI, First Christmas with him and it feel so joyful
I couldn't be more thankful for those moments
and I can feel it through out the mass
IT'S BEAUTIFUL :D


and it even gets better!
so after long of Christmas greets at the church and 
unbelievable traffic afterwards
we finally are invited to have diner together with his family
so then we went to 'Saung'
at first my mom didn't wanna go thou, 
but anyhow there we are sitting together
cheered for Christmas,
lots of talk about this and that
nothing so serious thou
since this is the first time of 2 family dine together
but it went quiet good I guess
we all left with a happy face, and yes very full stomach


It was a really really great night
The feeling that I have now is unforgettable
just being so happy joyful and no tears and hate
I love my Christmas Eve
and Thanks to God for bring me this peace
through His Son that He sent to this world


I hope this feeling could last forever


Thanks God for this, I just feel extremely blessed! 


Thanks for all who make this day so marvelous


and 


I love You , 


Merry Christmas

Thursday, December 22, 2011

UpSideDown

Another year is just about to finish
a year ..
well just about in the same time last year I have the same feeling

Christmas just around the corner
I was dreaming to have such a Christmas this year
as I feel so complete this year with all people I love around
..
but I guess I am not sure if it will happen anymore
These past few days, I started to lost this spirit of Christmas
All my hopes of Christmas
is just all to high.. maybe
and at the end
.......................

Its quiet a relieve moment
I just went to a penitence sacrament
I feel quiet peaceful when I was there and so afterwards
before something sucks came out
and I end up with hate feeling again tonight

I really don't know what is happening lately
Everything just fall apart
I feel so down
once I stand back up, he or others keep let me down again
 I really have no clue on what's God plans now on me

but anyhow,
I keep trying to believe that He will have a better plan for me..
I don't know , if it has to happen than let it be
I really start to can't bear it anymore..

I thought someone has promise to never broke my heart
but its all just words..
isn't it?

Its so hard to imagine..
how I could pass through all this..

maybe all I wish for Christmas is..
just God to show me his way and guide me through
because I feel like I just got knock down so badly
its so hard to stand up

Sunday, December 11, 2011

You're the reason

I don't wanna make a scene. I don't wanna let you down
Tryin' to do my own thing, and I'm starting to figure 
it out
That it's alright keep it together where ever we go
And it's alright oh well whatever
Everybody needs to know

You might be crazy
Have I told you lately
That I love you
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly

And it's crazy
That someone could change me
Now no matter what it is I have to do
I'm not afraid to try
And you need to know that you're the reason, why!

I don't even care when they say you're a little 
bit off
Look them in the eye I'd say I could never get enough
Cuz it's alright keep it together where ever we go
And it's alright oh well whatever
Everybody needs to know

You might be crazy
Have I told you lately
That I love you,
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly,

And it's crazy
That someone could change me
Now no matter what it is I have to do
I'm not afraid to try
And you need to know that you're the reason, why!

If it was rainin' you would yell at the sun
Pick up the pieces when the damage is done
You say it's just another day in the shade
Look at what a mess we made

You might be crazy
Have I told you lately
That I love you
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly

baby no matter what i do i will still love you baby
Now no matter what it is I have to do
I'm not afraid to try

You might be crazy
Have I told you lately
That I love you
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly

And it's crazy
That someone could change me
Now no matter what it is I have to do
I'm not afraid to try
And you need to know that you're the reason why...





p.f : just so you know :)

Monday, November 14, 2011

~

I love the way you smile
When I look in your eyes...
I love the way you laugh
When I try to be funny....
And how a tear rolls down your face
When I say no one could
ever take your place

And baby when you sleep
I watch you breathing...
And baby when you dream
I dream with you....
Cause everywhere you are is where
I wanna be...........
It's true everything you do
Makes me know how much I love you.

The way you touch my lips
Right after every kiss
And softly whisper
That I'm your everything
The way you pray
Our love won't die
Every night just before you
Close your eyes


And I believe some things are
meant to be
As sure as there is love
yours is meant for me.

I love you ...



and I hope those will be forever ............................................

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Just a thought

I think ..
As some of guy I met, they sometimes said that " I'm not a romantic guy "
Just suddenly think
Being romantic is not a person attitude or type.
Being romantic is a form of showing your love to someone you really do
The different is only, some are willing to show their love and willing to do anything to make your love happy
such as : most of woman love a surprise or even flower from their partner.
so then, guys who are willing to make their partner happy, they do so this kind of thing
but yeah,
some just not really willing to do this kind of thing,
but they still loves their partner

everyone just have different ways of showing their loves
so I guess its just important to know what each other likes
and so everyone could be happy

:)